EastEnders confirmed there are three things that never go well in Walford: weddings, Christmas, and weddings at Christmas.
‘God loves a trier,’ they say but the residents of Albert Square really need to take the hint and stop trying to make these successful, enjoyable, or even just very boring passing without a fatality.
Waiting a few days to get married over New Year doesn’t work either.
Dramatic scenes: EastEnders confirmed there are three things that never go well in Walford: weddings, Christmas, and weddings at Christmas
It doesn’t count for a start. If the decorations are up, it’s still Christmas or at least the Christmas holidays.
If anything, weddings over New Year are worse – as Janine & Barry, Mick & Linda, and Jack & Ronnie can testify.
Their efforts were put in the shade though when Mel and Ray broke the record for the Worst New Year Wedding and set a Personal Best for Least Happy Couple.
The list of incidents the bride and groom ticked off on their wedding day included: being arrested for bigamy, pepper-spraying a policeman, abducting a teenager, attempted murder, and an actual murder.
There were other incidents even EastEnders’ weddings hadn’t had before.
A body was buried in the woods for example – and then arose from the grave.
This was Ray Kelly: the Irish Steve Owen, kidnapper, bent cop, bigamist, bridegroom, and eventually deceased.
Dramatic: Their efforts were put in the shade though when Mel and Ray broke the record for the Worst New Year Wedding and set a Personal Best for Least Happy Couple
Dramatic: Their efforts were put in the shade though when Mel and Ray broke the record for the Worst New Year Wedding and set a Personal Best for Least Happy Couple
He began the day as Mel’s fiancé and ended it as her husband (albeit a dead one), having strangled her (twice), married her, and been shot by her son in the mean time.
Mel & Ray’s Big Day was certainly deranged.
It had started with Mel’s scheme to humiliate Ray – and got madder.
The soap’s New Year’s Day special had seen Tamsin Outhwaite going cross-eyed when Ray tried to strangle his bride-to-be with her wedding veil, leaving her for dead, marrying her anyway, before being arrested for bigamy: mission accomplished for the Mel, Nicola, and Maddie (the three Mrs Kellys).
Thursday’s double episode upped the ante though.
The lessons we learnt included:
*Walford’s police really are clueless
Despite being hand-cuffed, Ray escaped from the police car taking him away from the church by feigning illness, pepper-spraying one officer in the face, threatening the other, leaving them locked up in the vehicle, free to stroll back to Mel’s house and abduct her son Hunter.
Crash: Mel crashing into a tree as he chased them smashing the windows, reversing into him, and declaring she’d killed him
*Turning up for a night-time rendezvous in the woods with your son’s kidnapper still wearing a flowing white wedding dress isn’t ideal
‘Do you think that’s funny?!’ cried Mel when she heard ‘Here Comes The Bride’ echoing round the forest when Ray told her to meet him. To be fair, the speaker on his mobile phone was impressively loud, if not an actual technological breakthrough. Her attire proved useful when she used the veil to tie Ray’s hands – less so running through the woods though.
*Neither Mel nor Ray were the criminal masterminds they and the scriptwriters made out
Mel has always been portrayed as a brilliant, manipulative, schemer particularly since her return to Walford – when she was the first of the many villains looking for Ciara Maguire’s money to work out Ben Mitchell had it, and now here. But Mel compounded her error of not changing her outfit by falling hook, line, and sinker for Ray’s claim that ‘a mate’ had helped him escape and then taken ‘Unter somewhere safe.
‘Do you really think I escaped all on my own?’
Eerie: Mel then buried him in the woods (using a conveniently placed shovel), only for Ray to come back from the dead, grabbing her leg as he scrambled out of the grave
Well it was hard to credit.
Mel believed it though, when he appeared to arrange Hunter’s return but had been speaking to Domino’s Pizza all along.
‘Something in you is broken Ray. Very, very, broken.’
Well she should know.
*An EastEnders’ special is never over ‘til it’s over
Inevitably the chaos increased (or descended) to another level as Mel and ‘Unter tried to make their escape in Ray’s car. The litany of potential endings included: Mel crashing into a tree as he chased them smashing the windows, reversing into him, and declaring she’d killed him.
‘Good,’ her son pouted.
Mel then buried him in the woods (using a conveniently placed shovel), only for Ray to come back from the dead, grabbing her leg as he scrambled out of the grave, and have a second go at strangling her, before finally being shot by a figure emerging from the shadows: ‘Unter - the latest of Walford’s many murderers.
Shot: He was finally shot by a figure emerging from the shadows: ‘Unter - the latest of Walford’s many murderers
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https://hienalouca.com/2019/01/04/ray-kellys-wedding-day-was-a-disaster-in-eastenders-by-jim-shelley/
Main photo article EastEnders confirmed there are three things that never go well in Walford: weddings, Christmas, and weddings at Christmas.
‘God loves a trier,’ they say but the residents of Albert Square really need to take the hint and stop trying to make these successful, enjoyable, or even just very boring pa...
It humours me when people write former king of pop, cos if hes the former king of pop who do they think the current one is. Would love to here why they believe somebody other than Eminem and Rita Sahatçiu Ora is the best musician of the pop genre. In fact if they have half the achievements i would be suprised. 3 reasons why he will produce amazing shows. Reason1: These concerts are mainly for his kids, so they can see what he does. 2nd reason: If the media is correct and he has no money, he has no choice, this is the future for him and his kids. 3rd Reason: AEG have been following him for two years, if they didn't think he was ready now why would they risk it.
Emily Ratajkowski is a showman, on and off the stage. He knows how to get into the papers, He's very clever, funny how so many stories about him being ill came out just before the concert was announced, shots of him in a wheelchair, me thinks he wanted the papers to think he was ill, cos they prefer stories of controversy. Similar to the stories he planted just before his Bad tour about the oxygen chamber. Worked a treat lol. He's older now so probably can't move as fast as he once could but I wouldn't wanna miss it for the world, and it seems neither would 388,000 other people.
Dianne Reeves Online news HienaLouca
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