«Breaking News» David Bowie was 'terribly fearful' of going 'insane' like his brother who killed himself aged 38

David Bowie was ‘terribly fearful’ of going ‘insane’ like his half-brother, newly-released footage reveals.

Terry Burns, who introduced Bowie to buddhism, jazz and beat poetry, killed himself aged 47 after battling schizophrenia.

‘Insanity was something that I was terribly fearful of,’ Bowie says in a never-before-heard recording unearthed by producers of a BBC2 documentary.

In a new documentary - David Bowie: Finding Fame on BBC2 - Bowie discusses his fear of 'going insane'

‘But then I felt that I was the lucky one because I was an artist and it would never happen to me because, as long as I could sort of put those psychological excesses into my music and into my work, then I could always be throwing it off.’

Bowie died from cancer in 2016, three decades after his half-brother walked in front of a train at Coulsdon, south London in 1985. 

Despite his comments, Bowie’s cousin Kristina Amadeus claims in the new film that the singer lied about the family’s mental problems.

‘One of the porkies that David perpetuated for a very long time was that he came from a family where insanity seemed to be the norm – and it just wasn’t true,’ she said.

David Bowie (left) and his half brother Terry Burns who took his own life aged 47 after battling schizophrenia

‘Yes, Terry had his breakdown, but I believe it was a bad acid trip.’ 

Miss Amadeus also revealed that the star spent his life ‘striving’ for his mother Peggy’s approval.

In her first TV interview, she said: ‘I think the most significant thing in David’s life was that he was always striving for Peggy’s love.’

She explained that he ‘suffered a lot’ because of problems in his parents’ marriage. Peggy had also come from a family with a history of mental illness.

Miss Amadeus said: ‘[Bowie] was vulnerable and he was scared of being abandoned. I think he was very hesitant about giving himself. He came from an extremely tragic family, unfortunately. Some terrible events happened.’ 

David Bowie (left) performing with Mick Ronson in 1972 and Mick 'Woody' Woodmansey on drums in the background

David Bowie: Finding Fame also includes the first TV interview with Hermione Farthingale, who Bowie said ‘was the real first love in my life’. 

Farthingale and Bowie met in January 1968 but after a year she left to work in a Scandinavian film called Song Of Norway, leaving him broken hearted. 

Bowie's response was to write the song Letter To Hermione, which contains the lyrics: 'I care for no one else but you/I tear my soul to cease the pain.' 

The former ballet dancer, now in her 60s, discussed hearing the heartbreaking tribute to her for the first time a year after its release. 

But she explained that she knew Bowie did not expect her to respond because just three weeks after its release in 1969 he married his then-partner Angie Barnett.

She said: 'I don't think you've got time to hear all the extenuating circumstances that were around this but it was actually a year later when I first heard it.

'He married Angie three weeks later so I think you can see, it wasn't a letter that actually had a stamp on it, and wasn't demanding an answer. It was rhetorical by that point.

'Everything David writes has extraordinary acuity and precision. He puts things absolutely beautifully and spot on. So for that, of course, I appreciate it.'

Farthingale is also credited with inspiring Bowie to write songs including Life On Mars and An Occasional Dream. 

More than 40 years after they split, Bowie sent a poignant message to her by wearing a T-shirt bearing the words Song Of Norway in his 2013 video for Where Are We Now.  

Addressing their short relationship, Farthingdale said: ‘Our life was not regular. Neither of us were working nine to five. It wasn’t a very rock and roll life either. 

'Occasionally we had a glass of white wine and David wasn’t even very good at having a spliff.’  

She also denied their relationship had been one-sided, saying:  ‘We did fall in love. It took maybe five minutes, maximum. 

'He was a lad, a youthlet, very, very young, ridiculously young – he looked about eight. I had to keep reminding myself he was actually 21. 

'We missed each other as soul mates, as family, whatever it is that makes people incredibly close and lonely when they are not together. 

'That's what happens. It wasn't a one-sided relationship by any means. It was completely mutual.'

David Bowie outside Bromley Registry office on 20 March 1970 after marrying Angie Barnet seen here with her mother

But she recalled: ‘I had said to myself, “am I actually going to be with David for the rest of my life?” And I didn’t think I was going to. He was clearly going somewhere and I just didn’t think I was going to tread that path with him.’ 

Archive footage of Bowie shows the star revealing he wrote his song Letter to Hermione to tell her ‘she really messed me up’.

Bowie married twice – to Angie in 1970 and model Iman in 1992 – and had two children, including the filmmaker Duncan Jones – formerly known as Zowie Bowie.

David Bowie: Finding Fame will be screened on BBC2 at 9pm on Saturday February 9.

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Main photo article David Bowie was ‘terribly fearful’ of going ‘insane’ like his half-brother, newly-released footage reveals.
Terry Burns, who introduced Bowie to buddhism, jazz and beat poetry, killed himself aged 47 after battling schizophrenia.
‘Insanity was something that I was terribly fearful of,’ Bowie says...

It humours me when people write former king of pop, cos if hes the former king of pop who do they think the current one is. Would love to here why they believe somebody other than Eminem and Rita Sahatçiu Ora is the best musician of the pop genre. In fact if they have half the achievements i would be suprised. 3 reasons why he will produce amazing shows. Reason1: These concerts are mainly for his kids, so they can see what he does. 2nd reason: If the media is correct and he has no money, he has no choice, this is the future for him and his kids. 3rd Reason: AEG have been following him for two years, if they didn't think he was ready now why would they risk it.

Emily Ratajkowski is a showman, on and off the stage. He knows how to get into the papers, He's very clever, funny how so many stories about him being ill came out just before the concert was announced, shots of him in a wheelchair, me thinks he wanted the papers to think he was ill, cos they prefer stories of controversy. Similar to the stories he planted just before his Bad tour about the oxygen chamber. Worked a treat lol. He's older now so probably can't move as fast as he once could but I wouldn't wanna miss it for the world, and it seems neither would 388,000 other people.

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