Russell Brand approaches his pronouncements on fatherhood in the same way a holy man approaches the pulpit; utterly convinced of the ineluctable rightness of his sermon.
This week, the dad demagogue announced he wants tickling children to be outlawed until they’re old enough to consent. He has vowed he will punch anyone who does it to his daughters because it ‘violates their space’.
‘Would you do it to an adult? Would you insert your rigid fingers into their belly or their armpits? Of course not,’ he roars.
Russell Brand, 43, says tickling should be banned because it 'subverts bodily autonomy'
The point is, who does? I’d never go around randomly tickling stray children and I can’t think of anyone who would who is not already in jail. Affectionate uncles and aunts or grandparents might get a little tickle on now and again, in a fit of familial affection. Yet any time I’ve seen them do so, the tots have always gurgled and squealed with utter delight.
The point is that they are babies, in the loving embrace of their family, where being cuddled and held is an important part of their physical and emotional development.
Seeing sexualisation (‘rigid fingers’) and harm where none is intended, while assuming that tiny children need the protection of sophisticated adult hegemonies just causes more damage than it seeks to prevent.
Russell Brand and Lauren Gallacher out and about with their daughter in New York in 2017
Last year, a sexuality expert said parents should ask their baby’s permission before changing their nappy, in order to establish ‘a culture of consent’. How does that work? Apparently, you look junior in the eye and wait until the poor mite gives some sort of non-verbal signal that it’s OK to proceed with Operation Poopy Pants.
Brand’s stance is, as an example of modern, enlightened parenthood, up there with Cinderella’s father convincing himself his new wife and her two lovely daughters will be just the tonic little Cinders needs.
Or Les Miserables’ Fantine deciding to leave little Cosette with those nice innkeepers, the Thenardiers. How is that going to set a good example?
Russell Brand at Oxford Union in October last year. He said tickling 'violates the space' of children
Especially in a world where two years into dadhood and exultant as the proud father of Mabel (two) and Peggy (six months), Brand has yet to change a nappy at all, or make any meaningful contribution to the daily childcare routine. He leaves all that to wife Laura because he is just too zen, too important, too into himself to do that sort of thing.
He told a newspaper: ‘Laura’s able to sustain domesticity in a way that’s astonishing. I didn’t have much experience of how to organise domesticity. I do whatever I’m told. It turns out she is extremely well-versed in the nuances and complexities of child-rearing.’
He added that he was ‘too sensitive’ to change nappies and that his ‘romantic, reflective, religious world view’ prevents him from being a full-time parent.
Russell Brand, Laura Gallacher and Mabel Brand Russell Brand at LAX International Airport
Russell doesn’t sweat the small stuff. He concentrates on the big issues. He floats the big thoughts. And that is where the problem starts.
Before his daughters were born, he said he was going to bring them up gender neutral. How very modish, but how can that happen now, in a household run on the worst kind of old-fashioned gender lines — Mum the drudge does everything while dad the hero swans about being eminent?
You might expect this sort of non-interventionist behaviour from someone like father-of-six and volunteer Edwardian Jacob Rees Mogg (‘No, I’m not a modern man’). Yet in a world where even Prince William gets his hands dirty, so to speak, can Russell Brand even have an excuse?
Russell Brand and Laura Gallacher at the British Curry Awards in London
The problem is that Russell has always seen himself as a superior being beyond censure, someone for whom the normal terms and conditions of life do not apply. Do as I say, not as I do.
While he many have given up being a junkie sex god, he’s clinging onto his arrogance; ramping up the messianic certitude he once turned on banks and democracy, with every word lapped up by his 10 million online followers.
Is parenthood going to be his new gateway to cult hero status? Dear God, let us hope not.
He has vowed he will punch anyone who does it to his daughters because it ‘violates their space’
More on the ticklish tickling issue. ‘It is an attempt to subvert the child’s bodily autonomy, to take away their right to their own space and peace,’ he fumed.
Russell is a changed man these days, so perhaps it is unfair to bring up Andrew Sachs’s right to space and peace, or the violated space of his granddaughter who he claimed to have slept with.
It has been more than ten years since that prank call to the Fawlty Towers star, yet the impression lingers that underneath the chi-chi tai chi posturing, the juicing and the acupuncture appointments, all Russell cares about is himself and his giddy pronouncements.
He is still like an ambitious critter who crawled into the ear canal of British life and won’t stop buzzing until our heads explode. A beetle who wants to be a Beatle, to make an impact, and be bigger than Jesus or else. Help.
You might have thought being a parent is exhausting, but Russell Brand being a parent is exhausting in a more profound way than anyone could have imagined.
Staffies?I thought we loved Labs
How on earth did Staffies become Britain’s most loved breed of dog? They might be lovely, but we are a labrador nation, by temperament and inclination. Always have been, always will be.
At a push, let’s hear it for our eternal devotion to the West Highland terrier, the real monarch of the glen. Elsewhere, people are lovers of spaniels, champions of mongrels, devotees of tiny terriers —but Staffies? Twenty years ago, a muscle-bound hulk like a Staffie wouldn’t have had a look in — what happened?
The Staffordshire bull terrier (file picture) was once seen as a bit of a chavvy dog
Like all things in British public life, it all boils down to class. The Staffordshire bull terrier was once seen as a bit of a chavvy dog, beloved of young men who wanted a macho accessory the way some women want a fluffy teacup dog to accentuate their femininity.
Now, Staffies have somehow overturned their reputation for occasional viciousness.
Of course, there are no bad dogs, just bad owners.
But having to pretend that we all adore these canine thugs makes me feel rather hangdog, to say the least.
A golden girl who puts the Gere in the shade
It has been a marvellous week for golden oldies — but only if you happen to be a woman, of course.
By some miracle performed by the gods, model Christie Brinkley celebrated her 65th, above, but still manages to look half her age.
Yasmin Le Bon, 54, went to a party looking exactly like she did in 1985, while 73-year-old Helen Mirren wore a long leather skirt to a TV interview — and looked fabulous. Wish I could say the same for Richard Gere, 69, inset, who popped up in a trailer for his new BBC series, MotherFatherSon.
At least I think it was Richard. With odd, shimmering pools of highlighter under his eyes and a rather taut expression, I thought Richard had had more than a touch of the Tilda Swinton about him. Is that entirely a good look for a sexagenarian? You tell me.
Even out in the cold, Meghan's style sizzles
Hard to think of any woman in public life who’s achieved such stunning levels of pregnancy sartorial style as the Duchess of Sussex. Primarily by not wearing any actual maternity clothes. There is a message here somewhere.
On Tuesday, at the National Theatre, she was dressed head-to-toe in a clinging peach outfit, complete with strappy cocktail heels and a tiny Carolina Herrera minaudière. It was fabulous, even if more suited to a spring wedding in Capri than a winter’s day in London.
Yesterday, at the Association of Commonwealth Universities, she wore funeral black, including the same coat she wore on Remembrance Sunday. A frilly cocktail dress peeped out underneath.
The Duchess of Sussex leaves after a visit to the Association of Commonwealth Universities at the University of London
Only a duchess with a palace-to-pavement lifestyle could wear ice cream colours in Central London. In January. Only a young woman with her own mind could wear black to an official engagement, when it breaks every traditional directive in the royal rulebook.
But I love that about Meghan.
I love her pared-down look, which is modern and appealing. I love that she wears what she wants, while convention can go hang. And I love that she doesn’t pretend, with the judicious deployment of Zara accessories and High Street frocks, that she is being thrifty or ordinary or just like us.
We’re not idiots. She has married into one of the richest families on the planet. Her clothes are expensive, super luxe, gorgeous. She wears her heart on her sleeve, in more ways than one.
In a world of frilly artifice, her sharply tailored honesty is to be admired. And she is not coming down to earth with her bump any time soon.
Lovebirds are out of step
It’s all kicking off on the Strictly Come Dancing tour 2019. And not in a can-can way.
Lovebirds Joe Sugg and Dianne Buswell (pictured) have fallen out with their co-stars in a big way. Lost in the haze of new romance, their constant kisses are annoying everyone. Get a ballroom!
Lovebirds Joe Sugg and Dianne Buswell (pictured) have fallen out with their co-stars in a big way
However, perhaps the dancers are even more annoyed that the audience vote Joe and Dianne winners at every show.
Now the lovebirds have moved out of the £86-a-night Hilton tour digs into more luxurious accommodation — and everyone is even more annoyed.
But excuse me — an £86 Hilton? Who says the Strictly stars are not living the dream?
There is so much to admire about Labour MP for Birmingham Yardley, Jess Phillips, but so much that grates, too. Jess likes to wear her working-class credentials as a badge of honour, something that gives her an edge of moral superiority. This week, she was insisting that there were no problems living in areas of high migration, like Birmingham.
There is so much to admire about Labour MP for Birmingham Yardley, Jess Phillips (left), but so much that grates, too
‘It is a total pleasure to live in an area of high migration,’ she insisted, while castigating the ‘posh’ Tories she shares her workplace with. ‘I thought I had met posh people before I came here, but I had just met people who eat olives.’
If Jess really thinks that consuming olives is a matter of poshness, then perhaps she doesn’t mix as much in migrant communities as she claims.
Oh no! The coldest night of the year so far! Coldest! So far! What? Time for everyone to put a sock on their socks, calm down and turn up the heating. The coldest night of the year? We are barely into February, my friends.
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https://hienalouca.com/2019/02/01/jan-moir-russell-brand-banning-tickling-is-a-joke/
Main photo article Russell Brand approaches his pronouncements on fatherhood in the same way a holy man approaches the pulpit; utterly convinced of the ineluctable rightness of his sermon.
This week, the dad demagogue announced he wants tickling children to be outlawed until they’re old enough to consent. He has v...
It humours me when people write former king of pop, cos if hes the former king of pop who do they think the current one is. Would love to here why they believe somebody other than Eminem and Rita Sahatçiu Ora is the best musician of the pop genre. In fact if they have half the achievements i would be suprised. 3 reasons why he will produce amazing shows. Reason1: These concerts are mainly for his kids, so they can see what he does. 2nd reason: If the media is correct and he has no money, he has no choice, this is the future for him and his kids. 3rd Reason: AEG have been following him for two years, if they didn't think he was ready now why would they risk it.
Emily Ratajkowski is a showman, on and off the stage. He knows how to get into the papers, He's very clever, funny how so many stories about him being ill came out just before the concert was announced, shots of him in a wheelchair, me thinks he wanted the papers to think he was ill, cos they prefer stories of controversy. Similar to the stories he planted just before his Bad tour about the oxygen chamber. Worked a treat lol. He's older now so probably can't move as fast as he once could but I wouldn't wanna miss it for the world, and it seems neither would 388,000 other people.
Dianne Reeves Online news HienaLouca
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/02/01/01/9255350-0-image-a-21_1548983067225.jpg
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