«Breaking News» WILLIAM SITWELL tries to crack the code to the perfect scrambled egg

The other morning, I did a very foolish thing. 

I was in a smart little cafe with my wife and a friend — the chef Henry Harris — and abandoning all common sense, ordered a plate of scrambled eggs.

Almost immediately I regretted my decision. My wife, too, looked surprised. 

For she knows the history and bad blood that exists between me and a plate of imperfect scrambled eggs.

'Are you feeling all right?' she said. Soon enough along came my eggs. They weren't scrambled. 

I would venture that the scrambled egg issue is one of Britain's biggest culinary debating points. Most chefs, in most restaurants and cafes just can't do them (File photo)

This was more omelette, a sort of folded variety. I called the waiter over. 'I'm sorry but these aren't scrambled eggs,' I said. 

He removed the plate then returned a few minutes later with an identical disaster.

I complained again. 

Ably supported by Henry, I explained that scrambled eggs were soft, they might have flecks of white through them, they should be cooked with nothing but butter. 

They should not be allowed to sit in the pan, but gently stirred continuously until just before they are ready and turned out onto toast.

These eggs had clearly been left in the pan, and occasionally turned. As I say, more omelette than scrambled.

As a food writer, I suggested I might chat to the chef. The waiter left and when he returned, simply told me this was how the chef cooked them. 

So we paid for what we had (or hadn't) eaten and left.

Supermarket chain Iceland is selling scrambled eggs in a bag. All students have to do is open the £1.50 pack, microwave for 90 seconds, leave to stand for 90 seconds, then serve on toast (File photo)

Once again I vowed, if out for breakfast, never to order scrambled eggs. It's not worth the risk.

If I want proper scrambled eggs, I'll do them at home. Because, you see, I can cook them. More than that — my recipe is the best.

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. I would venture that the scrambled egg issue is one of Britain's biggest culinary debating points.

Most chefs, in most restaurants and cafes just can't do them.

'I would never eat them out,' says British chef Rowley Leigh, whose book A Long And Messy Business is a definitive collection of his recipes. 

'Scrambled eggs are about the most difficult thing to get right on a menu.'

Rowley always starts with butter — often 'quite a lot of it'.

He explains: 'It's all about timing and adding a little bit of milk at the end.'

Including milk is controversial, as purists will tell you scrambled eggs should have nothing added but butter and seasoning.

This is the view of food writer and cook Rose Prince. 

Adding things such as milk 'is part of the heritage of the Second World War', she explains.

'The creation of powdered eggs screwed up the reality of scrambled eggs and we've never fully recovered. 

After the war, to bulk up the eggs, water or milk was put into the mixture. So it's really about parsimony and meanness.'

Rose, like every chef and cook I speak to, has the perfect recipe.

Almost immediately I regretted my decision to order scrambled eggs. My wife, too, looked surprised. For she knows the history and bad blood that exists between me and a plate of imperfect scrambled eggs (File photo)

Hers has to do with not melting the butter at the start and using a wooden fork. She is adamant about no additions — especially cream. 'Typical chefs, adding cream,' she huffs.

One such chef is Marco Pierre White. He tells me: 'I add cream, not to make it creamy but to stop the eggs from cooking.'

Another of his tips is: 'If the palm of your hand is too hot as it nears the top of the pan, then the pan is too hot.' Also: 'Never whisk the eggs beforehand. You want to make ribbons of the mixture, not baby food.'

Who would argue with the great Marco Pierre White? Well, John Williams would. 

He's the Michelin-starred chef at The Ritz in London. 'Crack your eggs and then whisk them lightly,' he says. 'Then pour in a touch of cream.'

John then uses the bain-marie technique, placing eggs, cream and butter in a bowl over a pan of boiling water. 

'Keep working the mixture so it doesn't catch and keep them light and fluffy.' 

Like every chef, John reckons his is the perfect recipe and always seasons the eggs at the end.

When I speak to Michel Roux Snr — the godfather of modern dining, in whose restaurants the likes of Marco and Rowley started their careers — he is disdainful.

'Why are you talking to these other chefs?' he says. 

'Nobody knows how to make bloody scrambled eggs apart from me! Of course you add a little salt and pepper at the start! 

'Your eggs must be room temperature, and you must beat them gently with a fork and not with a whisk because you're not making an omelette.'

Michel also insists on a wooden spatula and he adds a little cream or a drop of milk.

Clearly the legends of the food world can't agree, so what about the younger generation?

I speak to Instagram star Ben Lebus, whose Mob Kitchen videos (now book) show millennials how to cook for ten for under £5. 

'I make the best plate of scrambled eggs,' he claims, too. 'But I haven't told the Mob [his fans and followers] yet because the perfect recipe demands that you have a non-stick pan, and that's a bit expensive for my crew.'

Ben also uses olive oil — not butter — and a wide pan for what he calls 'nice big folds'.

If Ben's fans find his recipe too hard, they can always turn to supermarket chain Iceland, which is selling scrambled eggs — in a bag. 

All they have to do is open the £1.50 pack, microwave for 90 seconds, leave to stand for 90 seconds, then serve.

Next, I turn to the food science boffins. The master of these is Harold McGee whose seminal book, On Food And Cooking; The Science And Lore Of The Kitchen, says: 'The key to moist scrambled eggs is low heat and patience.'

He stresses that cream, salt, butter, milk, water and oil dilute the eggs' proteins and produce a 'tenderer mass'.

And another, James Kenji Lopez-Alt, the New York author of The Food Lab: Better Home Cooking Through Science, states that 'cooking scrambled eggs is all about controlling the coagulation of egg proteins . . . not only are the proteins in the whites and yolks mixed together, but you also have the opportunity to mix in additional ingredients — as well as to control the way the eggs come together by moving them as they cook'.

But this is little comfort to my dangerous desire to order scrambled eggs when out for breakfast.

According to Bill Collison, founder of the successful Bill's Restaurant chain, the problem is discussed at board level 'non-stop'. 

He says: 'They are the lowest income generator on the menu but the trickiest thing to cook.'

According to Michel Roux Snr, chefs' inability to cook the eggs is because 'nobody teaches them'. For Marco Pierre White, it is simpler: 'Chefs just don't care.'

But I have a plan to find the ultimate recipe. Later this month, with a group of food writers and chefs, we shall, under laboratory conditions, test recipes from the great and the good. 

From Jamie Oliver ('Only butter, beat with a fork) to Heston Blumenthal ('in a bain-marie with milk, butter and cream'), Gordon Ramsay ('do not whisk . . . use crème fraîche and cold eggs) and Delia Smith (use an 'Alan Silverwood' heavy gauge aluminium pan . . .).

The Clarence Court Great British Scrambled Egg Challenge on September 27 can be followed on @clarence_court (Instagram) and @clarencecourt (Twitter).

For now, I take comfort from Michel Roux Snr: 'Scrambled eggs are just the most delicate things to get right.

'It's like taking a lady out for dinner. You don't just put her in a dirty cab and say, 'See you there'. 

You encourage her to dress up. You treat her beautifully. 

Only then will she — and your eggs —reach perfection.'

Linkhienalouca.com

https://hienalouca.com/2018/09/21/william-sitwell-tries-to-crack-the-code-to-the-perfect-scrambled-egg/
Main photo article The other morning, I did a very foolish thing. 
I was in a smart little cafe with my wife and a friend — the chef Henry Harris — and abandoning all common sense, ordered a plate of scrambled eggs.
Almost immediately I regretted my decision. My wife, too, looked surprised. 
For she knows the histo...

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