Union J star George Shelley described how his sister's sudden death 'completely changed his life' and left him battling depression.
The singer, who found fame on X Factor in 2012, broke down as he shared memories of his sister, Harriet, 21, who died after suffering a fatal head injury in Bristol in April last year.
Speaking in BBC Three documentary Learning to Grieve, George, 25, of Somerset, revealed he was so crippled by his loss that he struggled to leave his room and could not bring himself to say his sister's name for months after her death.
The former I'm A Celebrity contestant told how his depression was exacerbated by his anxiety, which he developed as a result of trying to keep his sexuality secret during his boyband career.
He explained he felt the need to hide the fact he is gay in order to be the right kind of 'product' to 'sell to their largely teenage female fanbase.
Singer George Shelley, 25, has opened up about his mental health issues following the death of his sister in 2017 and how his anxiety about his sexuality has made the healing process difficult
Pop star's sibling Harriet (pictured with her brother), 21, was studying to be a midwife when she was killed after she suffered fatal head injury in a tragic car accident on April 28, 2017
George first rose to fame with his Union J bandmates (L-R) JJ Hamblett, Josh Cuthbert and Jaymi Hensley when they were put together on The X Factor in 2012
Producers of the ITV talent show put George into the group alongside bandmates JJ Hamblett, Josh Cuthbert and Jaymi Hensley - and touted the group as the next One Direction.
George explained: 'I spent a lot of time hiding away my sexuality because I was in a boyband for four years of my life that we were selling records to young teenage girls and they needed us to be a product for the girls. I didn't want to jeopardise anything for the band by being gay.'
He added: 'We already had a gay member of the band Jamie, but I felt that if we had two members of the band that were gay it would change the perception of the band and people's perception of me.
'I spent four years pretending to be someone I wasn't and it really f***s with your mind. Like it really, really messes with your mind, the anxiety and the paranoia amplified. It got worse. I was terrified that people were going to try and out me.'
The anguish led the singer to develop anxiety, which compounded the grief on the death of his sister.
Harriet, who was on course to graduate from Birmingham University with a first class degree in midwifery, was killed 28 April last year after a passing car 'brushed past her' as she passed between two parked buses near the 02 Academy in Bristol.
George breaks down as he sees his sister's diary where she has marked the date she was set to move in to his London home and admits as well as her death he's still grieving their future together
Harriet had been due to graduate from Birmingham University with a first class degree in midwifery. Her sudden passing left George in shock, grieving for his sibling and the future they were planning together as she was set to move in with him in London
George admits in the BBC Three documentary that he spent a lot of time hiding who he really was because he didn't want to 'jeopardise' Union J from selling records if their female fans learned he was gay
She died eight days later at the city's Southmead Hospital with cause of death listed as 'severe traumatic brain injury'.
The 21-year-old had been planning on moving into George's in London and the sudden death left her brother grieving for the future they had planned together.
Speaking in the documentary, which was filmed a year after Harriet's death, George opens up to his parents and best friend in a bid to better understand the process of grieving.
George opened up about the death of his sister Harriet (left) in February this year on ITV's Lorraine (right). He admitted he had locked himself away in his bedroom unable to leave the house
Having spent the last 12 months struggling to talk about his loss and to deal with it, George opened up in candid and raw discussions with his parents and best friend in a bid to help him cope with and better understand the process of grieving
In one poignant moment he breaks down in tears as his mother show's him Harriet's diary with the date they were due to move in marked with a love heart.
'It has just completely changed my life,' he said. 'I was really looking forward to moving in, we literally had our whole future planned and this was such a shock.
'And this is why it's so important to talk about it and get help because my mental health just plummeted and there was no one to tell me that all the crazy s**t I was doing was a reaction to grief.'
George, who also has five brothers and two step-sisters, said during the last five years of his sister's life they 'were pretty much inseparable'.
She was the first person he opened up to about his sexuality. 'She was one of the first people I told I was gay. I was suppressing my sexuality and that caused and extreme case of anxiety.'
George said Harriet was the first person he opened up to about his sexuality to: 'She was one of the first people I told I was gay. I was suppressing my sexuality and that caused and extreme case of anxiety'
George, aged eight, with his family, brother Tom Harris, mother Toni, brother William and sister Harriet. He said in the last five years of Harriet's life the pair were inseparable
After her passing he sought treatment from a psychiatrist and George was told that his anxiety meddled with his grief was causing him to sink into a deep depression.
In the programme George speaks to other young people who have suffered the loss of a sibling, and to others from his generation who can share advice and guidance about coping mechanisms.
He recalled the immediate months after Harriet's death he locked himself away in his room and it took him a long time to begin caring for himself again.
George said during a retreat at the Support Group for Bereaved Siblings run by 'The Compassionate Friends' Charity that he stopped saying Harriet's name.
'I don't think I said my sister's name for about five months afterwards, in a way I didn't feel confident saying it. I was just by myself at home one day and started calling out 'Harriet!' because I missed shouting for her up the stairs, I missed that so much.
'There's these little things that you're never going to do again, but if you just keep doing them and remembering them…'
George is hoping that by speaking out he can continue on his own grieving process and encourage other young people to talk openly about their mental health battles
Research suggests that bereavement is linked to high rates of suicide and mental health problems among young people.
George hopes that by speaking out about his own journey, not only will it help him, but help others.
'One of the best analogies I heard about grief was that it's like glitter, in a sense that no matter how much you tried and tidy it up and clean you are never going to get rid of it all, you're always going to find bits of it everywhere,' he explained.
'It was like someone just turned all the lights off in my head. 2017 was the loss of a lot of things, I lost my relationship and my job, everything kind of came crashing down.
'I got myself in a really dark place, I locked myself in my room and I cut all of my friends out, my family out, I turned my back on writing because I was finding it really hard to get through songs without getting upset.'
George Shelley: Learning to Grieve is available to watch now online on BBC Three iPlayer and will air Tuesday October 2 on BBC One at 10.45pm
Link article
https://hienalouca.com/2018/09/30/george-shelley-reveals-he-didnt-want-to-jeopardise-union-j-by-revealing-he-was-gay/
Main photo article Union J star George Shelley described how his sister’s sudden death ‘completely changed his life’ and left him battling depression.
The singer, who found fame on X Factor in 2012, broke down as he shared memories of his sister, Harriet, 21, who died after suffering a fatal head...
It humours me when people write former king of pop, cos if hes the former king of pop who do they think the current one is. Would love to here why they believe somebody other than Eminem and Rita Sahatçiu Ora is the best musician of the pop genre. In fact if they have half the achievements i would be suprised. 3 reasons why he will produce amazing shows. Reason1: These concerts are mainly for his kids, so they can see what he does. 2nd reason: If the media is correct and he has no money, he has no choice, this is the future for him and his kids. 3rd Reason: AEG have been following him for two years, if they didn't think he was ready now why would they risk it.
Emily Ratajkowski is a showman, on and off the stage. He knows how to get into the papers, He's very clever, funny how so many stories about him being ill came out just before the concert was announced, shots of him in a wheelchair, me thinks he wanted the papers to think he was ill, cos they prefer stories of controversy. Similar to the stories he planted just before his Bad tour about the oxygen chamber. Worked a treat lol. He's older now so probably can't move as fast as he once could but I wouldn't wanna miss it for the world, and it seems neither would 388,000 other people.
Dianne Reeves Femail HienaLouca
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1/2018/09/24/19/4521968-6203009-image-a-11_1537815030493.jpg
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