Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz took a break from fronting his famously prickly persona Saturday night, joking during a Washington dinner speech that the next two years in Trump's Washington will be like a 'Game of Thrones' reboot.
'Mueller is coming. Ned Stark Sessions was beheaded. And Trump finally builds a wall to keep the wildlings out – and the white walkers actually pay for it,' he said during a jesting speech at the Gridiron Club's annual winter dinner in Washington, D.C.
'Khalesi Pelosi assumes her throne after wandering in the wilderness for eight years, and unleashes dragon fire on the Trumpian Dothraki. And Cocaine Mitch is the Lannister we have been waiting for.'
Jeff Sessions is the latest Trump Cabinet member to meet his political end. And like Khalesi, an exiled queen who regains power in the popular HBO fantasy series, Nancy Pelosi will return to the House speakership in January.
The Gridiron Club is the oldest of Washington's journalism organizations, hosting press dinners that mix politics and comedy. It's traditional for guests to rip on their foes and friends, and to poke fun at themselves.
Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz is typically a cantankerous character but indulged in wisecracks Saturday night 'at my own expense – what my friend Rick Perry calls self-defecating humor'
Perry, the current energy secretary, is knwn for his verbal gaffes: He once declared that George W. Bush 'did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom,' and told reporters that the Mexican border town of Juarez was 'the most dangerous city in America'
Cruz said Trump's Washington was like a 'Game of Thrones' season, with fired Attorney General Jeff Sessions (lower right) playing the part of executed Ned Stark (lower left), and one-and-future House speaker Nancy Pelosi (top right) in the role of Khalesi (top left), who returns to her thronw after a lengthy exile
Cruz, typically a nettlesome and cantankerous character, indulged in wisecracks 'at my own expense – what my friend Rick Perry calls self-defecating humor.'
Perry, Trump's energy secretary, is best known for his gaffes and malapropisms, beginning with his inability in a 2012 presidential primary debate to remember the last of three federal bureaucracies he had pledged to eliminate if he won the White House.
'Oops,' he said, cementing his legacy as a Texas bumbler. The chopping-block department whose name he couldn't recall was the Department of Energy, which he now leads.
Perry once declared on 'Meet the Press' that George W. Bush 'did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom.' And he told reporters that the Mexican border town of Juarez was 'the most dangerous city in America.'
Most of Cruz's apparent own-goals were veiled shots at other Republicans.
He said he would spend 2019 working on improving his relationship with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, cloaking an elbow-jab at the White House.
Cruz mocked former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci (above) for self-descructing after a vulgar magazine interview in which he mocked then-Trump starategist Steve Bannon (below)
'These past couple of years, some strange new influence has been at work to make Mitch stop thinking of me as the most unreasonable, uncivil, uncontrollable person he could imagine,' he marveled. 'Somehow I don’t seem so bad anymore. I just wish I knew who to thank.'
He noted that Trump, once his bitter GOP primary rival, announced in October that instead of 'Lyin’ Ted' he had re-christened the senator 'Beautiful Ted.'
In addition to casting Cruz as a serial liar, Trump took tweeted shots at his wife Heidi, mocked his origins in Canada and suggested that his father Rafael had been depicted in a grainy black-and-white photo of Kennedy assassin Lee Harvey Oswald distributing propaganda about Fidel Castro's communist regime in 1963.
'I’m sure I’ve shaken off my 2016 nickname for good, along with any hard feelings that might have lingered from my clash with Donald Trump,' Cruz said Saturday.
'Sometimes you just have to put minor squabbles behind you – you know, like whether or not your dad was the guy on the Grassy Knoll.'
Cruz was born in Calgary, but was eligible to be president because his mother was a U.S. citizen at the time. His father was a Cuban émigré.
Trump hinted in 2016 that the Texan might not meet the constitutional definition of a 'natural born citizen,' a prerequisite to win the White House.
In praising the U.S. Constitution's press-freedom protections in the First Amendment on Saturday, Cruz found a way to work Canada into a joke that brought the house down.
President Donald Trump (left) called Cruz 'Lyin’ Ted' during the 2016 campaign, and famously tried to link his father (right) to the kennedy assassination
The future president said a 1963 photo of Lee Harvey Oswald (right) leafleting to support Fidel Castro also included Rafael Cruz, but there was no evidence the figure circled at left was Cruz's father
'I am the son of an immigrant who left the brutality of an authoritarian regime, and where the press was simply a mouthpiece of the state,' he said.
'To this day, I don’t believe anything I read in the Toronto Star.'
Cruz hinted that November Medal of Freedom recipient Orrin Hatch, a retiring Utah senator, might actually be Elvis Presley – who was awarded the honor posthumously.
'Elvis, they say, died in 1977, the very same year Orrin began serving in the United States Senate,' he said. 'At the White House, they had just a single medal for the two of them.'
'Orrin's footwear was blue suede shoes. And they’ve never once been seen together in a room.'
And he mocked former senior Trump aides Anthony Scaramucci and Steve Bannon.
As a here-today-gone-tomorrow White House communications director, Scaramucci has been the shortest-lived top-tier Trump advisor to date.
Describing 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue as a reality show, he chuckled that 'the writers only let Mooch stay for ten days.'
The Texas senator joked that retiring Sen. Orrin Hatch was actually Elvis Presley in disguise since he entered Congress the same year the King of Rock 'n Roll was thought to have died
'But if you’re counting, that’s three days longer than Carly lasted as my Vice President.'
Cruz took the unusual step of naming a running mate, former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, as his running mate before the Republican National Convention in 2016, hoping the promise of including a women on his ticket would turn the tide in his favor.
A week later, his candidacy was history.
Trump fired Scaramucci in late July 2017 over a vulgar and expletive-laden interview in which he torched Bannon and other co-workers
'I'm not Steve Bannon,' he told The New Yorker at the time. 'I'm not trying to suck my own c**k.'
Describing Bannon on Saturday as another reality-show contestant who eventually met his demise, Cruz quipped: 'Who knew that Steve Bannon was so anatomically flexible?'
Politico published Cruz's prepared remarks on Sunday morning.
Link hienalouca.com
https://hienalouca.com/2018/12/03/ted-cruz-jokes-trumps-washington-is-like-game-of-thrones-sessions-is-ned-and-pelosi-is-khalesi/
Main photo article Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz took a break from fronting his famously prickly persona Saturday night, joking during a Washington dinner speech that the next two years in Trump’s Washington will be like a ‘Game of Thrones‘ reboot.
‘Mueller is coming. Ned Stark Sessions...
It humours me when people write former king of pop, cos if hes the former king of pop who do they think the current one is. Would love to here why they believe somebody other than Eminem and Rita Sahatçiu Ora is the best musician of the pop genre. In fact if they have half the achievements i would be suprised. 3 reasons why he will produce amazing shows. Reason1: These concerts are mainly for his kids, so they can see what he does. 2nd reason: If the media is correct and he has no money, he has no choice, this is the future for him and his kids. 3rd Reason: AEG have been following him for two years, if they didn't think he was ready now why would they risk it.
Emily Ratajkowski is a showman, on and off the stage. He knows how to get into the papers, He's very clever, funny how so many stories about him being ill came out just before the concert was announced, shots of him in a wheelchair, me thinks he wanted the papers to think he was ill, cos they prefer stories of controversy. Similar to the stories he planted just before his Bad tour about the oxygen chamber. Worked a treat lol. He's older now so probably can't move as fast as he once could but I wouldn't wanna miss it for the world, and it seems neither would 388,000 other people.
Dianne Reeves US News HienaLouca
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/12/02/21/6915600-6452463-image-m-25_1543784637476.jpg
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