Monica Lewinsky reveals in the new A&E docuseries The Clinton Affair that her star-crossed love with former president Bill Clinton might still be a secret if not for the misadventur'd piteous overthrows of his staff.
In a new clip, Lewinsky details the events that led to her decision to confide in Linda Tripp, the woman who would eventually alert the special prosecutor to the fact that Clinton was having an affair with a former intern.
It all started when members of Clinton's staff decided to move Lewinsky out of her post working for Legislative Affairs at The White House and transfer her to the Pentagon amid growing concerns over how close she had become with the president.
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Irritated intern: Monica Lewinsky says in the new docuseries The Clinton Affair that she opened up to Linda Tripp after feeling her relationship with Bill was over
Beret day: The root of that concern was the distance between the pair, which has been created by his staff's decision to move her to a job at the Pentagon (Clinton and Lewinsky in late 1996)
Lewinsky suggests that this was all done with the knowledge of her paramour, who she describes as 'crestfallen.'
The two had been seeing one another daily and enjoying weekly trysts prior to that Lewinsky had revealed, but the move to a new job and building changed all that in an instant.
Lewinsky would instead be forced to wait until the middle of the night for Clinton to call, but she says that he had promised to move her back to a White House position after the election.
At that point the pair had been carrying on their affair for five months, and a number of staff members had begun to take notice of how often Lewinsky was around the president and Oval Office.
It was an optics problem however say staffers, with no one explicitly stating that they believed the intern was having an affair with the president.
The job shift also came while Clinton was in the middle of his reelection campaign, meaning that he was not in touch with Lewinsky for days or even weeks at a time.
'I had this nagging insecurity that maybe he just did all these things these last six months cause he wanted to keep me quiet during the election,' explains Lewinsky.
'How stupid am I that I believed this, that I bought this. I felt so deflated and so desperate. And those were the conditions along with some other things that led to me confiding in Linda Tripp.'
Lewinsky described her mindset at the time by saying she 'had naively invested in his promise,' but that was shattered when the election came and went without the offer of a White House job.
Gifts: She was called to the office with the promise of presents, and Clinton gifted her a hat pin and copy of Walt Whitman's Leave of Grass (Clinton and Lewinsky in 1997 just before their bathroom rendezvous)
Apologize: Lewinsky also penned an essay for Vanity Fair revealing that she wished Clinton felt the need to apologize for the fallout from their relationship (Clinton above in 1998 denying the affair)
This was a year into the pair's relationship, which started on November 14, 1995, in the middle of the government shutdown when Lewinsky had been called in to help with the phones.
On that date there had been a surprise party for one of Clinton's staffers, and at one point Lewinsky realized her thong was exposed while Clinton was near her in the room.
Lewinsky opted to keep her thong out as Clinton walked by, and a short while later when she walked by his office, Clinton smiled at her and motioned for her to come into the room.
She soon admitted to Clinton that she had a 'crush' on him, and not long after the two were kissing in the dark room.
'I don't talk about this very often and I still don't feel comfortable talking about it. It's one of those things where it's not as if it didn't register with me that he was the president. Obviously it did,' explains Lewinsky in a preview.
'But I think in one way the moment we were actually in the back office for the first time the truth is I think it meant more to me the someone who other people desired, desired me.'
She continues: 'However wrong it was, however misguided, for who I was at that time, at 22 years old, it was how I felt.'
Lewinsky went back to her desk after that first kiss and was then asked to return to the study later, when the two became more intimate.
It was the start of a relationship that would find the two meeting in secret once a week for almost two years.
Lewinsky also opens up about the grief and fear she felt when she was told that she would have to cooperate with the FBI investigation of Clinton, or face time in prison.
'In order to cooperate and avoid charges and I would have to make monitored phone calls which they would listen in to and record and I might have to wear a wire and go see people in person,' reveals Lewinsky in a preview for the upcoming A&E docuseries The Clinton Affair.
It was too much for Lewinsky, who says that after a few hours she began to think about commiting suicide.
Tears: Lewinsky considered jumping out of a window at the Ritz Carlton in January 1998 when the FBI told her she would need to become an informant (above in The Clinton Affair)
Entourage: 'So, what feels more important to me than whether I am owed or deserving of a personal apology is my belief that Bill Clinton should want to apologize. I’m less disappointed him, and more disappointed for him,' writes Lewinsky
Twenty years later, it still causes her to break down in tears.
'The ground completely crumbled in that moment. I felt so much guilt. And I felt terrified,' she reveals in the interview.
An FBI agent involved in the case acknowledged this, saying that Lewinsky was 'alternating between being hysterical, being angry, being abusive.'
Lewinsky admits that she was not cooperative at the time, believing she had to protect Clinton.
'They imagined that I would have flipped really easily. They had no plan in place for what would happen if i said no,' she reveals in the series.
That then gave way to thoughts of ending her own life.
'There was a point for me somewhere within these first several hours where I would be hysterically crying and then I would just shut down,' she recalls.
'And in the shut down period I just remember looking out the window and thinking the only way to fix this is to kill myself.'
Lewinsky, who up until that point had managed to hold back her tears, then bursts out sobbing.
'I just felt terrible ... and I was scared ... and I was mortified,' she says while trying to regain her composure.
This all played out at the Ritz Carlton in January 1998, with the Office of the Independent Counsel getting Linda Tripp to set up a meeting with Lewinsky.
She was then taken to a room and held by prosecutors until that night.
Lewinsky admits that the thing that made this so difficult for her was the fact that she was still in love with Clinton.
Link hienalouca.com
https://hienalouca.com/2018/11/17/monica-lewinsky-says-staffers-separating-her-and-bill-clinton-lead-her-to-confide-in-linda-tripp/
Main photo article Monica Lewinsky reveals in the new A&E docuseries The Clinton Affair that her star-crossed love with former president Bill Clinton might still be a secret if not for the misadventur’d piteous overthrows of his staff.
In a new clip, Lewinsky details the events that led to her decision...
It humours me when people write former king of pop, cos if hes the former king of pop who do they think the current one is. Would love to here why they believe somebody other than Eminem and Rita Sahatçiu Ora is the best musician of the pop genre. In fact if they have half the achievements i would be suprised. 3 reasons why he will produce amazing shows. Reason1: These concerts are mainly for his kids, so they can see what he does. 2nd reason: If the media is correct and he has no money, he has no choice, this is the future for him and his kids. 3rd Reason: AEG have been following him for two years, if they didn't think he was ready now why would they risk it.
Emily Ratajkowski is a showman, on and off the stage. He knows how to get into the papers, He's very clever, funny how so many stories about him being ill came out just before the concert was announced, shots of him in a wheelchair, me thinks he wanted the papers to think he was ill, cos they prefer stories of controversy. Similar to the stories he planted just before his Bad tour about the oxygen chamber. Worked a treat lol. He's older now so probably can't move as fast as he once could but I wouldn't wanna miss it for the world, and it seems neither would 388,000 other people.
Dianne Reeves US News HienaLouca
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/11/16/14/6278046-6398049-image-a-2_1542380306776.jpg
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