We’re too shy, afraid of being judged, don’t want our partners to feel they’re lacking in anything or just not great talking about sex: there are a lot of reasons why women don’t speak up and tell their partners what they’d really like to do sexually.
Thankfully, there’s research and surveys and people like me to do the talking for you!
To all the men out there, this is a window into what your partner might be secretly hankering for.
(If you’re female and like the sound of it, share it with your partner or leave a print out under the pillow!)
Sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox reveals the seven very surprisingly things that women crave in the bedroom but won't admit to
WOMEN WOULD SECRETLY LIKE MEN TO…
Be more domineering
We are, necessarily, more PC about sex and how men treat women in bed.
But somewhere along the way, it’s got to the stage where a lot of men are nervous suggesting anything remotely kinky for fear of being considered a sexual Neanderthal.
One reason why Fifty Shades became the most successful erotic fiction book in the history of publishing is because the hero, Christian Grey, had no qualms at all being ‘forceful’.
Being tied up, being spanked, having our hair pulled, being pushed down on the bed or pinned against a wall – all of these things are exciting for a lot of women.
It’s a rush to know you desire us so much, you can’t control yourself.
We also want to know that you know it is fantasy and that we most certainly do NOT want that treatment in real life.
So, yes, you must check whether it’s OK with us before you switch into take command mode (“Can I spank you?”) but (please) do ask (our answer is likely to be “Yes please!”).
Tracey says that taking a woman to a strip club allows her to fulfill bicurious fantasies
Power games – particularly those when we switch into a role we don’t assume in real life (someone who is naturally dominant, lets the other take charge) – are an exciting way to keep monogamous sex titillating.
It doesn’t have to be whips and paddles or sometimes scary BDSM stuff, just take charge.
If you’re nervous about knowing the difference between sexy aggressive and seriously-not-on aggressive, read some women’s erotica (try the Erotic Review for some top-notch turn-on) or watch some female-friendly porn (Frolicme or Joy Bear).
Take us to a strip club
Men’s Health magazine recently polled 2700 people about what they wanted more of in bed.
A whopping 70 per cent of women said they were keen to visit a strip club with their partner.
Why the attraction?
It’s a great way to let our bi-curious side out, without actually having to act on anything – and strip clubs are undeniably sexy, albeit in a sleazy kind of way.
It’s also a relatively safe way to indulge that threesome fantasy without the fallout of actually having another person in your bed.
Watching each other watch the performers is taboo and electrifying; if you’re at a lap-dancing club you can take it one step further and either watch your partner get a lap-dance or get a lap-dance for two.
Use a remote-controlled sex toy
Sixty-three percent of the people surveyed by Men’s Health said they fantasised about their partner using a remote-controlled sex toy – like a love egg - with 44 per cent saying they wanted them to use it in public.
Handing over control to your partner by offering up the remote allows them to manipulate your arousal somewhere every day – on a tube, a bus, in the supermarket, at the in-laws for lunch.
Having sex in public appeals to the voyeur in all of us whether it is planned or spontaneous
They know you’re turned on as could be but no-one around you has a clue.
It’s risqué and racy and there’s a risk you might be caught out, which heightens the eroticism even more.
Sharing a dirty secret can hot up a lukewarm love life - instantly.
To have sex in public
Sending a theme here?
It might not be full sex, but a straying hand in the back of a taxi or under a skirt while we’re having a picnic; a swift seconds-long oral sex session when there’s no-one by the pool but us on holidays…
Sex in public or semi-public means there’s the fear of discovery; the thought we might be watched appeals to the voyeur in all of us.
It harks back to our teenage days when you had to get away with what you could in public because you weren’t supposed to be alone in your room.
It can be planned (as much a turn-on as doing it) or spontaneous (a kiss in a kitchen at a party that makes you want to disappear to the loo or into the garden).
There’s a caveat with this one: as much as we want the fear of being caught, we most certainly do not want to be caught by anyone we know.
Suggesting sex in the lane next to where we live isn’t sexy, it’s stupid.
To be blindfolded
It’s a popular female fantasy – and one more than 60 per cent of women would like to happen in reality.
Robbed of sight, we have no idea where we’re going to be touched or what’s going to happen next; removing eye contact also removes any embarrassment.
Women are far more likely to try kinky sex moves when blindfolded than any other time.
Not only do we feel less shy, some women find it shameful to admit just how much they want you to tap into their dark side.
If you can’t see our eyes, you can’t see just how much we’re into what you’re doing.
For you to talk dirty
Women like dirty talk more than you think – more than 80 per cent of women in a US study of 2000 women (18-45) said they wished their partner did it more.
There’s still a taboo associated with him telling us the smutty, crude things he’d like to do to us, which (of course) is why we like it!
But here’s the thing with dirty talk: most women are far more comfortable letting their partner do it to them, than having to talk dirty back.
Men tend to be more comfortable letting loose (though women who do master it, say it’s fantastically liberating).
To go slower
I blame porn. There’s so much ‘jackhammering (thrusting very fast and hard) in porn, men think it’s the norm.
Lots of men use porn as sex education – which is utterly ridiculous because your average garden-variety porn centres around everything that women hate having done to them.
Most women don’t orgasm purely through penetration but, even so, it’s a hell of a lot more enjoyable when thrusting has a slow, even rhythm and pelvises are held close.
Try grinding and rocking rather than using the traditional in-out motion and we might just achieve a penetrative orgasm!
While we’re on the topic of slow, slower everything would be good.
We’d like you to be slower to take our clothes off, to spend longer on foreplay (there’s a surprise), have slower, longer kisses and slow, gentle touches.
Visit traceycox.com for more of Tracey’s views on sex and love. Find her product range at lovehoney.co.uk.
Link hienalouca.com
https://hienalouca.com/2019/02/13/tracey-cox-reveals-what-women-secretly-want-from-their-sex-life/
Main photo article We’re too shy, afraid of being judged, don’t want our partners to feel they’re lacking in anything or just not great talking about sex: there are a lot of reasons why women don’t speak up and tell their partners what they’d really like to do sexually.
Thankfully, there’s research and surveys and ...
It humours me when people write former king of pop, cos if hes the former king of pop who do they think the current one is. Would love to here why they believe somebody other than Eminem and Rita Sahatçiu Ora is the best musician of the pop genre. In fact if they have half the achievements i would be suprised. 3 reasons why he will produce amazing shows. Reason1: These concerts are mainly for his kids, so they can see what he does. 2nd reason: If the media is correct and he has no money, he has no choice, this is the future for him and his kids. 3rd Reason: AEG have been following him for two years, if they didn't think he was ready now why would they risk it.
Emily Ratajkowski is a showman, on and off the stage. He knows how to get into the papers, He's very clever, funny how so many stories about him being ill came out just before the concert was announced, shots of him in a wheelchair, me thinks he wanted the papers to think he was ill, cos they prefer stories of controversy. Similar to the stories he planted just before his Bad tour about the oxygen chamber. Worked a treat lol. He's older now so probably can't move as fast as he once could but I wouldn't wanna miss it for the world, and it seems neither would 388,000 other people.
Dianne Reeves Online news HienaLouca
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/02/13/07/9729330-6695829-Sex_and_relationship_expert_Tracey_Cox_reveals_the_seven_very_su-a-3_1550043400094.jpg
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